I had the pleasure of discovering Brendon Burchard through Chalene Johnson. She had suggested one of his books, and I have been hooked every since. They both have taught me so much about setting goals and dreams. About creating and designing the life you truly want to have for yourself. I quote and recommend them constantly. I have attending one of Brendons live workshops as one of my goals for 2011. I do a lot of his exercises online, I can only imagine how powerful it would be to experience him in person.
Today I wanted to share this exercise with you...and I hope you will truly take a minute and answer the turning points at the bottom----
Either Your Relationships are Truly Supporting You or They Aren't
By Brendon Burchard
Founder, Experts Academy, and author of Life's Golden Ticket
"One is taught by experience to put a premium on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are."
The people in our lives who treat us with kindness, respect, honesty, and understanding have the ability to lift us to our highest heights. On the flip side, those who mistreat us, disrespect us, lie to us, neglect us, or abuse us often have the power to pull us down into the depths of despair.
Simply put, the people in our lives can either lift us up or drag us down.
That said, let’s take a look at your relationships. Think about the people surrounding you: your family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, romantic interest. Are any of these people holding you back from being your best? Are any of them making you feel unworthy, unloved, and uncared for? Are any of them making you feel small, weak, dirty, stupid, or insignificant? Are any of them demeaning or disrespecting you by implying that you don’t deserve happiness, abundance, and peace in your life? If so, who are they?
And now to the most important question: Why in the world are you allowing these people in your life?
I say “allowing” because every relationship in your life—even those with your family members—is 100 percent voluntary and therefore subject to your influence. You can choose to maintain, build, minimize, or even break off any relationship at any time. You don’t have to call your parents, you don’t have to stay in the relationship with the abusive jerk, and you don’t have to put up with friends who try to keep you down to their apathetic unmotivated level.
Being subject to your influence, your relationships are turning out exactly the way you are allowing them to. Since you have the power to reward or penalize people with your level of commitment to the relationship, you are in essence continually teaching people how to treat you. If someone is treating you poorly, then it’s because you haven’t influenced or taught them to do otherwise. You haven’t consistently or authoritatively stood up for yourself or put your foot down and said, “Enough! I will never allow you treat me like that again!”
Much of the quality of your life depends on the quality of your relationships. Healthy relationships are those that support your well-being and growth. If you are in any relationship that doesn’t fit that bill, it’s time to candidly reassess why you’re in it and determine what you should do about it. Do you feel an obligation to be in this dysfunctional relationship, or are you just scared to be alone? Should you break ties with those who are hurting you, or should you at the very minimum lay down some new ground rules for how you expect to be treated?
Now this isn't just about getting RID of people who treat you unfairly, the truth is we all know that can't always happen -- not everyone can ditch their mean spouses that easily. But here's the master's work: it's not so much about losing the bums as it is about having MORE supportive people around you. At my events we talk about having at least 10 super supportive peers and mentors around you who act as your cheerleaders and support personnel. Decide today that by the end of the year you'll have 10 new supportive friends and mentors and your life next year will explode with passion, joy and achievement.
Today’s the day you should decide to surround yourself with only those people who lift you higher in life—those who appreciate you, respect you, support you, and love you. A life of beauty is built by surrounding yourself with beautiful souls.
Transformational Turning Points:
□ The people in my life who are treating me poorly are…
□ I’ve allowed these people to treat me this way by…
□ If I ended or dramatically altered these relationships, I would start to feel…
□ The relationships in my life that are truly supporting my well-being and growth are the ones I have with…
□ Five people I need to approach to have as mentors and motivators are...
*** I hope this made you think about your own life and the relationships that you hold dear. I truly believe in mentors and motivators---I follow Chalene Johnson, Richard Simmons, Jillian Michaels, Brendon Burchard, Suzie , Oprah and Brian Tracy.
Who do you follow in your life?
What inspires you?